(With apologies to no one!)
Out of retirement
Grinning ten-teeth to the inch,
All ready to do battle,
Thus bespoke the Grinch:
"We have a way, there is a way!
To cut down Xmas like a tree!
Where once we failed, we'll now prevail!
We've found the axe: P. C."
Now PC's come and PC's go,
Around us they do abound.
But which will the Grinch
Employ this time 'round?
"PC's, are the Perfect Criticism,
With which none but can agree!
So let's don't discuss anything,
For it will surely upset me.
"We'll gather such a
Petty Concentration of dislikes
Which will squash forever
the anticipation of the tykes.
"You should Peremptorily Curtail
Anyone's thoughts of joy.
Do not give those children
A single, bloody toy!
"And a Party, at Christmas?
Hey! No way!
It would upset most every person,
in some teensy, weensy way.
"What if we call it the Winter Party?
Of course, 'cause then you'd see
the Summer crowd saying
'What about us? Hey, that's not PC!'
"And if they cry Past Customs
and Traditions and like that,
With our Pleading Cautions
We'll smash them good and flat.
"Within a short time
You will surely see
There'll even be no more talk
Of Christmas trees!"
So the wimps said "Give in to
pettiness and forget that we all liked joy.
After all there is no reality in traditions
And the handing out of toys.
"It's just something the old folks did
In their vague and awful mess,
When people all cared for people
Just because their hearts said, 'Yes.'"
Now the Grinch is back tenfold.
Always the sneaky coward,
He is now acting most bold.
Will someone smite him?
Lock him in a barrell?
Try it! Dare it!
Sing just one Christmas Carol.
The original Grinch story, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
was written by Theodor "Dr. Seuss" Geisel
in 1957.
For a collection of other parodies of the Dr. Seuss works, click here. Not
there. Nor even here. Only here will do.
Other Grinch sites:
WWW Grinch quiz
Another Grinch poem
Original Grinch story in Latin
(but only how to order it!)
Some people
involved in the movie production
...and from the
other side
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1997-2008
Last update: May, 2008
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