by Duncan MacLean
Now MacKenzie's not the kinda chap you'd take for being gay;
He's big and strong and brawny, he eats porridge every day.
For MacKenzie is an athlete of the Scottish breed,
and in order for him to function he has a certain need:
And they are large balls, twice as heavy as lead,
They're big and round and shiny and half as big as his head.
I've travelled around this great big world, but never can I recall
of every seeing any thing like Rod MacKenzie's balls.
Well MacKenzie went to Scotland for a summer holiday.
He showed his friends round Scotland and they all enjoyed the stay.
While walking round in Glasgow, down a street called Sauchiehall,
MacKenzie decided to get himself a brand new set of balls.
Oh they lugged the balls round Scotland in the sunshine and the rain.
But then they had to find a way to get the buggers hame.
Connie Anderson was elected to bring them home and all.
She said she didn't mind conveying Rod MacKenzie's balls.
Well I met her in San Francisco when she got off the plane.
She was tired but happy to be back home again.
I helped her with her suitcase and another bag quite small;
It nearly broke my shoulder - it was Rod MacKenzie's balls!
Well MacKenzie's wife named Sharon she lends him her support,
So MacKenzie can participate in his favorite kind of sport.
Each nite before a big event, no matter what might befall,
Just to bring him luck she kisses Rod MacKenzie's balls.
Copyright © Duncan MacLean 1991